The sun will rise and we will try again
I wish I could tell you that the sun rises and I try again. I wish I could say that I get up, make a cup of coffee, stretch, meditate, and begin my day smiling. I wish that's what happened.
Certainly the sun rises each morning. Some days I rise before it does. Not literally, but I'm already awake. After hours of tossing, turning, dreaming, dreading. The peculiar thing about new days is that we never seem to run out of them. A new day, a new bird song, a new sun. The day is there for the taking, but it is never taken. Not by me at least.
I do this from time to time, where I can never wake from a bad dream
The sun comes up, and I lay in bed. Time passes. Minutes, hours, days. It never seems to change. Each day is the same. But it's getting worse. Each day gets a little bit worse. And today, today is the worst of them all. I don't know how much longer I can do this. I don't know how much longer I can live. I'm so tired of waking up not being able to breathe. To feel like the world is sitting on my chest. There's this hole and it just keeps getting bigger and bigger. I don't think it can get much bigger without taking over.
The Eulogy is coming. And the Eulogy means the end.
