Saturday, August 29, 2015

I'm afraid I've become my own worst enemy. I scare myself. I don't like myself. I'm not good for me.  

There's a moment of our lives where we become someone. We change from being a child to a human. We have personalities, likes, dislikes, problems. We become these things. We become who we are.

I've spent years staring into a broken mirror hoping to assemble the shattered parts of my soul, trying to find a reflection but seeing nothing but the jagged edges of the ruined glass. This is what I've become.

I walk down the street reading street signs, looking at cars, counting the clouds hoping to see myself somewhere. A nice man standing on the corner, laughing with friends, sharing a drink. But I'm not there. I'm here trapped within the four walls of my own mind. Sleeping. Dreaming. Losing. This is what I've become.

I spend most of my time searching. Searching a map written in words I don't understand. Fighting the urge to run, be gone, save the world from the troubles of me. Following paths leading everywhere and nowhere. Running in circles becoming nothing more than I was before. This is what I've become.

The map was lying. The corners not real. The mirror, still broken. But this is who I am. This is what I am. This is how I am. Fragments of a tortured past, and glimpses of a ruined future. 

This is me.

No comments:

Post a Comment