I hold on to that thing, the one that makes me smile. You walked in and told me what I needed to hear. Cared when I needed you. But now you're gone. We're apart and there's nothing I can do about it. We laughed together and had fun. We talked and wrote. I trusted you and you trusted me. Regardless of anything that you had going on, you always seemed to make my life seem brighter. But I made the mistake of giving in. Giving up. 

You won't see this. I doubt you ever even look. But I love you. I want to love you. But will you let me? Will the cold overwhelm me and make me disappear? Maybe. Maybe that won't be so bad. I've always wanted to disappear you know. Just go where no one can find me. You might find me though. If you wanted to, you would know where to find me. You always meant so much to me, but now I'm just a memory in a sea of thoughts. I would pray that you'll find me, but you won't.