I'll tell you one simple truth my dear. I hate this. I really really do. I hate not being able to call you or come over and see you. I would like to. But I can't. You think so low of me now, like I'm doing this for my own joy and enlightenment. Well that's not it at all. I'd give anything to hold you every day. But I doubt you'd let me ever again. The truth is this. I love you.

I can't forget you. Forgetting you is like trying to sand away the skin on my bones. I could try and try, but the more I push the harder it hurts. You mean too much to me. But I doubt you believe that too. I wish you would though. I meant everything I ever said to you. If you think that I'm trying to get you out of my life, you're wrong. I hope that you know that.

I wore your ring all day today. I saw your family and nearly lost it in the middle of the pew. I saw your face in your brothers and the whole world stopped. My bones still ache and muscles scream. But none of that matters anymore. Because my heart seems to have given up. I don't feel much anymore.

I wonder if you'll even see this. I doubt you will. But if you do my love, know that it is truly that. I love you. I hope that you believe me. Because I do. I hope to see you again someday, because sometimes scenes end, new characters come out, and the plot takes a different turn. But other times, it's simply a change of scenery. The characters stay and the plot just changes a small bit. I always want you in my story line. Always.